What do you think of when you hear the word "networking"?

I'll bet some of you tighten up, get anxious and recall an uncomfortable "networking meeting" in which you were in a room with strangers trying to drum up conversation and pass out business cards (which, even when distributed, were probably never looked at again).

But in our hearts, we know the value of networking. Much of my business life has evolved through the network I have developed. Yet, the type of meeting described above makes me anxious, too. While there are those who thrive in that environment, the rest of us may benefit from a few ideas to help make the networking experience more productive and comfortable.

First, I always prefer to network in small groups. To me, this is an easier way to get to know someone as I can be sure to have some one-on-one time. This is simply done. Next time you go to lunch with a colleague ask that person to invite someone else to join you. In this case, you get to enjoy lunch with a friend and with a friend of a friend. Your network just grew.

One of my favorite networking tools has been a lunch group that I started some time ago. Initially I invited a few people I knew quite well. I invited these people to invite others and the group has grown in number and in camaraderie. Now nearly 20 of us get together regularly as friends. We talk about the business climate, get updates on each others' business lives and share ideas. It is comfortable for everyone, as everyone was invited by a friend.

Second, I believe that the depth of your network relationships is more critical than the breadth of your network. Just because you have someone's business card doesn't mean that person is in your network. It is difficult to call on someone for help or advice if you do not have a significant relationship. It takes time to develop a network that truly works for you. In the case of my lunch group, please notice that I said we now get together as friends. This is key.

Having spent much time with these individuals, I have developed relationships that go deeper than business card acquaintances. I could call on any of them if I have a need, and because we are friends, they will answer my calls. I would do the same for them.

Finally, to get the best and most powerful network you need to leverage the networks of others. Occasionally I get calls from people who need my help. If I can't help them, I refer them to someone in my network who can. In this way, others are leveraging my network.

Perhaps you are familiar with the concept of "six degrees of separation" (which, contrary to popular belief, isn't about actor Kevin Bacon). It was based on a study by a social scientist who wanted to see how many steps it took to get a package from someone randomly selected in one part of the country to someone else selected randomly in another part of the country, using only networking-type contacts. He found that on average the process required about six steps.

Interestingly, the study found that not all of the six degrees are created equally. Some contacts had more access to a broader range of connections than others, and once people connected with these key contacts they generally made the final connection faster. These individuals are like gatekeepers, through whom we can connect with many people.

This means that you have a great opportunity to grow your network if you can leverage the network of a gatekeeper. These individuals are not difficult to find. Some people just seem to know everyone, and by adding them to your network you can usually tap into theirs.

See what I mean? Networking can be easy - with or without the business cards. Just relax, put yourself in position to make new friends, and watch your network grow.